Children love attention, and they seek it through various means, including making a scene in front of your friends, telling jokes during meeting, or intentionally interrupting the teacher. Often in our classrooms, children may be receiving attention for negative behaviors (such as breaking rules, disrupting the classroom, etc) instead of receiving attention for more positive behaviors (like trying hard on homework or helping a friend). When we give children attention for those negative behaviors, we are actually reinforcing them, which is not ideal.
As a teacher, knowing your students and being able to read a situation is vital in order to do this successfully. If you know your classroom well enough you should be able to distinguish between situations where a child is merely seeking attention and can be ignored versus those that could be unsafe or very disruptive to the classroom.
Example:
Take a look at two different children in the classroom.
You have George, a well behaved, nice boy and then you have Betty, who is a little more energetic and often confrontational. George and Betty are sitting at the table together during homework time. George is working dutifully on his work while Betty is having much difficulty staying in her seat and focusing on her work. She wanders over to other tables and distracts the other children by asking them questions and taking their supplies.
The teacher is constantly telling Betty to get back into her seat, to leave the other children alone, and to focus on her work. Throughout the whole period, the teacher is focused on Betty and is completely ignoring George as he behaved perfectly. This is an example of giving attention to negative behaviors and overlooking the positive ones.
If the teacher had said,
“Hey, George, I absolutely love how you are sitting so nicely working on your homework right now. I hope that your friends can do the same,” this could have cued Betty into what the teacher wanted to see without giving her any direct attention.
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Ignore the negative, attention seeking behavior as long as the safety of the child, other children or staff is not at risk. Then try to refocus the child on what he/she is supposed to be doing. Positively reinforce the positive behaviors as often as you see them. By giving the negative behavior attention, you can be inadvertently reinforcing the behavior.
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Remove the audience. Many children act out because they crave the attention of others. If you remove their audience, they are less likely to continue the behavior.
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Don’t respond to negative attention seeking comments and actions that can be ignored (i.e. “Can I stand on the table?”) This, more times than not, can lead to a verbal power struggle which should always be avoided. Instead of answering the question with what they can’t do, respond with what they could or should be doing.
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If students receive the attention they desire by seeking it in rude or inappropriate ways, they will be reinforced to continue in that manner. When refocusing children, we want to tell them what to do in order to get the desired attention. Once they do what is asked it is important to immediately reinforce that behavior with positive attention.
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I.e. “She tried to get my attention by pushing other students near me aside, before slapping my arm repeatedly. I initially ignored her attempts for attention. I then notified her that in order to get my attention, she needed to start over and use words politely.”
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It is important to not immediately try to intervene in situations when students are displaying inappropriate behaviors (unless clearly exhibiting unsafe behavior) so as to allow for students to have the opportunity to fix their mistakes. If students need a little help recognizing this, a strategy you can use is by reinforcing and/or complementing the other students who are doing what is expected, i.e. “The group at the circle table is doing a great job keeping their voices low while they work together.”
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If a child is verbally challenging an adult, the staff should give their direction and if it is not followed, continue non-verbally ( by pointing, writing down the direction, giving another sign for a warning or physically taking a child’s hand and bringing him/her to the time-out spot without using force). The staff should not verbally engage the student while waiting for them to complete the task or while they are in time out, as that is what the student is seeking through the behavior.
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If a child begins inappropriate conversations with staff members but chooses not to engage in appropriate ones, staff should avoid engaging the child in this attention seeking behavior while actively engaging and praising other children for participating in appropriate conversations.
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For example, a child is consistently telling a staff member how she kissed her boyfriend that day but refuses to participate in a group discussion during meeting in which everyone takes turns. In this case, because she refuses to participate when she is expected to but instead through inappropriate means, make sure to guide her away from that conversation and not engage her in it by asking questions about what she is telling you. When she does participate in instances where she is supposed to, praise her for it with the hope of her continuing this positive participation. Continue to guide conversations towards more appropriate topics.
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